Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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