so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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