is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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