My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
