Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We need to get me chipped asap
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
