Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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