Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize