He kissed a someone with a penis
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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