The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
