oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
