Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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