I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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