I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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