I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
