she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
they're like a gay fantastic four
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
