Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
