Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
