Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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