She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
