she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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