So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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