would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
