But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm sobbing to NWA
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
