Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
