Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize