so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
