Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
