hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
