We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
