Have you finally orgasmed yet?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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