She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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