I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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