I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
