its not stalking. its research.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
