Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
