At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
