have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
