nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
