Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
