I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
