come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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