Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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