I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
