I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
