apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
