so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize