Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
