OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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