i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
God, I missed his penis.
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