I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I checked into jail on foursquare
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
