I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
