she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
