porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
