i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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