it's not cheating when I paid for it
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
