The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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