I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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