I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
