I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize