I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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