i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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