so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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