...so i touched it.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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