You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
