i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
jump out the window naked night went bad
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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