So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
